I am not friends with technology. I got my first computer in Nineteen Ninety Seven, if memory serves me right, and I more or less modded and edited settings to it and the games I had in it since day one. I take things apart. In Two Thousand and Three, when I got my first flip phone, things had not changed. The Nokia back then was cased in some kind of plastic. My first thought was to take a carving knife and to start carving into it geometry that would help me grip the tiny thing. You see I am a klutz, and have rather large sausage fingers. I drop things all the time. So the idea was to make it less likely. My parents disagreed. They punished me for destroying a perfectly good phone. Not that it couldn’t still work. It just had chunks of the plastic carved into.
Between Highschool through my first job - roughly seven years of life - I never held a phone for longer than ten months. I’d drop them, punch them, throw them, all sorts of stupid things from the hands of an energetic and very stupid youth. Recognizing my incapacity for domicile tranquility, my father bought me a most unique phone in Two thousand and Seventeen. The Galaxy Eight Active. A military grade phone, it was considerably more sturdy than anything I’d ever owned before. Finally, a phone for my brutish self.
It is now Two Thousand and Twenty Two. Its screen is shattered! Its frame chipped! Its got permeant moisture all over the place. The battery only lasts 4 hours! It's been dropped off cliffs in Chile, submerged in Scottish Brim, frozen in Canadian wilderness, and once used as a counterweight for an electromagnetic gun. It’s been drenched in bleach, alcohol, and gone through a washing machine and dryer a time or two. For the past year or two, it’s had a tendency to cause some electric shock when I touch the screen. And just today, while taking my toast out of a toaster, I noticed a strange vibration from the toaster when I touched it and my screen. But today ended differently. Today, my G8A has died. Not for any of the reasons above. No no, it seems the nail that did it in was nothing more than old age. A lithium battery past its prime, swol with electrons it just cannot pump anymore.
The absolute state…
And so, here’s to you G8A. May I one day replace your battery and raise you from the dead. For now, rest well. And don’t die. I’ve got too many quality memes on you to loose.
For now, I will be using a One Plus Nord. Some danky phone from china that’s rather cheap, nice, and decent. Before my GM8, I used a One plus One for a while. Good times too.
I miss my earlier Blackberry. All the phones over the last 23 years have found a place in my cabinet, sitting there like the line of kings and queens of Jadis' world in the Narnia Chronicles; in suspended animation waiting to be revived one day. Sorry for your loss.