I penned a lengthy, anger-induced, rant against American Evangelicals recently. I do this often. I hate them. Not just the Left wing, but the Right wing too. The whole goddamn chicken. If the church has political wings, they’re only preferable at 500 Fahrenheit.
Its left wing worships a black and red Jesus who’s temple riots are totally justifiable and exemplary, so long they’re not at the Temple of Democracy. Then it’s something called Nationalism (wait, why are the nationalists destroying the national symbol?) It’s right wing worships a Jesus with laser blue eyes aimed at all commies and spics, but not cubans of course. They’re MAGA. And together this discount dinosaur is presented as the global hegemonic leader of Christianity, which funds global mission efforts in Africa and Asia, and prides itself off being something enlightened. Or, is trying to totally disavow mission trips as something-something-post-colonial-insert-buzz-words-here…
What even is this circus? Are these people so blinded by their bejeweled melanin(less) god of flesh that they forget who God made Flesh is? Where did Jesus ever give a damn about democracy being some holy sacred system of government? Where did Jesus give permission to slaughter the unborn, immigrant, or widow? Where did God say to blame white people on your problems? Where did God say to throw mexicans into camps? And we all know that each wing calls the other one a turkey. Yet why can’t they take the plank out of their own eye?
This week, I watched people worship a black poet youth at the inauguration. A woman who justified murdering the unborn a few months ago, using her poetry for Satan. I also saw Q call on the name of Jesus to make their Antichrist Trump an emperor for life. I’ve seen a lot of lunacy recently. A lot of people-who am I kidding- A lot of Americans in their ignorance fat 1st world comforts declare from their sandcastle throne of fact-checked gospel truths declare what is of God and what is of the devil. How can they be so blind? God has sent plagues upon you. Riots upon you. unemployment upon you. Shame upon you. Judgment after Judgment upon you. Has he in any way picked or chosen who receives it and who does not? Or has he not laid it upon all of you the weight of your total failure? He is already even now raising up new Empires in China, India, and Africa to replace you. He has already moved your allies to seek new friends. Has he not spoken both in word and deed, what his plans are for you? Alas, Oh Babylon. He has even blinded you from your own hunger and thirst. American Christianity, at large, is a leach upon Christ’s lifeblood.
I stared into the wall of text, and all the usual buzzwords I rant about glowed in that strange way one’s brain highlights things they’re biased to see. A holographic display of one’s personal adreniline triggers. The heart races for each one, and everyone’s gone them. “cruel”, “cheap grace”, “Inconsistent”, Etc etc. Many of my wrathful words are usually focus against Evangelicals, but what does that word even matter anymore? I am throwing a knife at a great big blob-monster, all-consuming and totally non-defined. Today’s evangelicals are yesterday baptists. yesterady’s evangelicals are today’s Anglicans. Rainbow, red cross, or on fire, everyone’s got their flag to stand out. The clearest evidence for a charlatan faith is how many mantras block you from god.
But enough about that. I found myself desiring to not be the usual me. In a moment, the holographic bolded texts converged in my subconscious and, as often occurs, my poetic mind sought to reduce, reuse, and recycle my wrath into a short discount Churchillian zinger. “Victims speak faster than pastors”. No. Too normy. Add more umph. “The victims of the Church are more diverse than the Church”. Perfect. It’s so obviously true! For any given community, its out-group has to be bigger. Why else would the church be shrinking? The math proves it. Case closed.
But why? There’s plenty of speculation why. America’s autistic obsession with purity that it always returns to. What is it about purity that drives Americans absolutely bat stew nuts? Purity is good. God is pure. That’s why he’s good. You’re not. So why are you trying to be? But if you’re trying to not be pure, you’re going to hell too. A conundrum. The American’s solution to the conundrum, is to call someone else less pure. How quaint. Also demonic.
Four years ago a good friend named Luke of mine blocked me. I said Donald Trump should be assassinated. I was a purity freak too, you see. We can’t have such men lead us. My friend was a Cruz boy. But he accepted the Conservative candidate. He couldn’t accept my wrath. So our chats ended. And his Facebook page got a 404. Goodbye friend.
Four weeks ago I was blocked by a friend named Jonathan. An author. I questioned why he’s obsessed with Jesus having dark skin. I showed a picture of Jews in Iran. They’re not that dark. they’re not that white either, of course, despite being the original Aryan. The nation of Iran was never colonized, you see. So the Jews who live there are special. They’ve been there since the Babylonian captivity. So they’re a great window into what Jesus looked like. And he looked incredibly average. This was apparently to great offense to a black man. Goodbye friend.
These are the victims of the church, as much as those they kick out of the church are. Only the total lunacy of American theological traditions would breed a Christianity, if it can be called that, like this. Pettianity seems a better term for American Christianity? It’s in total contrast to historic Christianity. Tell me, do you know of any major church divisions over who was the Roman Emperor? Or over what his foreign policy was? Or his ideas of race relations? Maybe there’s one I don’t know. But it seemed the Christians of old didn’t divide themselves over such pathetic things. But there are, happily, many exceptions to Pettianity. Relics of the old Christ enduring through this cancer. They are also victims of the church. People hurt by Christianity and exiled from it. People who decided to stay with it, dig deeper into the world, and be their own church if need be. Many of them I get into arguments with. Usually about abortion, or race, or sexuality. Such friends haven’t blocked me yet, despite strong disagreements. Some of them have invited me to weddings. Others I’ve made nice Christmas cards for. But the truth still holds testimony to their experience: The victims of the Church are more diverse than the Church.
I could tell you so much about the victims of the church. I could tell you about an immigrant friend who fell into sexual sin and was ostracized by all the men in my student Christian club. They were all white. I could tell you about the rape victim I knew who refused to admit she was raped because she had fallen for his tricks to get into her apartment, and so she technically said yes. I could tell you about vengeful women, I could tell you about wrathful men. I could tell you about pastors too afraid to pick a side, or too late to stop sin. I’ve seen pastors turned to perversion too. My high-school priest touched young boys. My home priest did too. My bishop says nothing. I can go on and on and on about all of these many things. All proving just how diverse the victims of the church are compared to the monolith that is the church. So many contexts, so many cases. Every race, every sex, even every gender. Every age, every authority, everyone I have recorded in my heart. Adding to my complete and utter disgust at what Christianity has become in this land. The things which justify every action of God to rightly and justly damn us all to the hell of 2020, and the ever deeper circles of hell to come.
I am genuinely unsure why God has over-exposed me to all this. Is this normal, reader? Am I average, or an exception? What horrors of the church have you seen? I am genuinely curious.
But it all comes down to love. I think people who cut off their brothers and sisters because of their idols, are risking God cutting them off. And I think Christians who disagree, even violently disagree, but can speak openly are, well to be frank, a perfect image of Jesus Christ’s relationship to humanity.
One day, America will be in ruins. Either by her own hands, or God’s. One might say they’re the same hand. I hope actually. When that day comes, the greedy will hire war criminals to gun down people. Black men and white men will murder each other because of molecules in their skin. Churches will burn. Schools will be bombed. Horrible things will happen. And somewhere will be Christian men and women holding hands and singing songs, standing upon the ruins, and not wallowing in the muck. They will offer you food and drink. They will disagree with you. They will take care of you. And Christ’s kingdom will forget all the idols of this day. From MAGA to CRT, from bat stews to boogaloos. Christ will reign. And the Church will win. And there’s going to be a peculiar chicken cooking that day in the oven, with a red wing and a blue wing. Mmm. Tasty.